Thanks Giving...Drying up the tears and cooking a turkey

I've been kinda sad the last few weeks. As a matter of fact, a little tearful this a.m. If this blog was paper and ink, it would possibly be tear splattered. I guess it's good to cry sometimes. It reminds me that I am just a lowly human in a vast universe that does not revolve around me. I CAN NOT BE IN CONTROL OF ALL THINGS. There, I said it. Now, if I can just remember it...

My precious baby girl has moved. She is now in Sumter, S.C. I miss her. I want her here. Well, not exactly in my house but somewhere closer than Sumter. They say Sumter is a beautiful place. I don't think I have ever been there. I am planning to visit sometime soon. If Catherine reads this, her fist response will be, "Oh my Gosh, Mother". But those of you who are mothers understand my feelings. My own mother who, by the way, is the smartest woman in the whole wide world, keeps reminding me that kids move away all the time. Hmmm, wonder how she would have felt if I had moved to Sumter when I was 22. Oh, I really deep down don't blame her for wanting to move. Something new and exciting. I just miss her.

She isn't coming for Thanksgiving. I guess it really bothers me because I just think family should be together. She has her reasons and says she is coming the next week-end. But what about Thanksgiving? Oh well. I've heard several people mention that so and so wasn't coming for Thanksgiving. I guess this younger generation just doesn't feel like my generation does about tradition. I don't think they feel the same about a lot of things. And I have a long list but that's another blog.

I had all this on my mind yesterday afternoon when I had to go by and pick up something from a lady who's daughter was killed within this last year. A daughter the same age as my Liz. I felt so selfish just talking to her. Her daughter isn't coming home for Thanksgiving or the next week-end or Christmas or her birthday or Easter or.....ever. It really slapped me in the face. Of course I didn't mention this about my tiny, tiny disappointment, but I thought to myself, 'how foolish you are, Donna Logan. Get over it.' The whole time my friend was talking, I could see tears and pain and a deep sadness. Now, I do understand what it is like to lose a child but I think and know that every situation is so different. And hers is definitely tragic. Her pain is so much deeper than the sadness I feel. Mine doesn't even compare. Mine is insignificant.

God has seen fit to keep my precious children here on this earth. Not in my backyard but on this earth. So, I am thankful. I am thankful that they both have great heads on their shoulders. I am thankful that they both are trying so hard to live their lives to their greatest potential. I am so thankful that they see big things to reach for. I am so thankful that they both know that God is and will guide them through this journey.

So, I'm giving thanks. And in my thanks giving, I am amazed. Amazed at all I do have to be thankful for. Not just this week, but in every moment of every day. So, I'm drying up the tears and cooking a turkey....Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!!!!

"Death of the Mighty Oak" produced by: Mother Nature

I am up at 1:00a.m. blogging because I am having a little trouble falling asleep tonight. It is because of the picture in my eyes that my mind cannot yet grasp. (That or the fact that Lane is snoring so loud, or the iced tea I had at my 9:00 dinner, or the fact that after age 50 we sometimes just can't fall asleep.)


I am not afraid of thunderstorms. Never have been. I love to sit on the back porch and enjoy them. For example, that storm we had some time ago with all the big hail??? I was running around in the yard gathering it up to freeze. Now, I don't usually go out in the yard in the middle of thunderstorms but I usually just wait them out with some bit of respect. Wind bothers me a little. But thunder and lightening are just loud and annoying if the power goes out. Today was no different. I had returned home around 3:30 with Adalai and we were in the den. She watching "Omizoomi" and eating m&ms and me reading. We were just waiting around on time for me to be at Catherine's salon, Avenue 427 Salon, 704-739-6955..Walk-Ins welcome, (just saying) at 5:00 for my appointment. At about the time for us to leave, I began to notice it was getting darker outside, there was some distant thunder and the wind was picking up. By the time she had her shoes on and m&ms removed from her chin, it was getting darker, windier,and the thunder louder. I began to hesitate, 'should I go or should I stay' and just wait it out. I sure as heck did not want to miss my appointment so we headed on out just before the rain set in. I was to the end of my street when the bottom dropped out. I started to turn around and come back home 5 times but kept forging onward to my appointment (I was desperate people).

We had to sit in my car about 10 minutes before we could get out at the salon. I pass Lane on his way home and about 20 minutes later he calls my phone, "Hey, what are you doing?" Me, "Umm, Lane, I'm getting my hair done. You just saw me in the chair." Lane, "How much longer are you going to be?" Me, (in my sweetest possible tone) "as long as it takes." Lane, "Well, I just thought you might want to come home and see blah,blah, blah..." Me, "What?" Lane, "I blah, might blah blah tree blah blah down." Me, "What are you saying, what about the tree?" Anyway, he finally got it out, "I thought you might want to come home and see the trees that fell." Me, "Trees??? What trees? Our trees? What did they hit?" Lane, "My mighty oak and everything in it's path." Me as I hang up the phone, "Catherine, get this color out of my hair, I have to go home. Oh wait, no, let it finish processing. I don't want it to be orange or purple."

About 30 minutes later I arrive home and am totally stunned as I pull up to my house but it is not until I see Lane and my neighbors that I realize how bad this must be. Lane has this look about him. Not scared, not mad, but...something. Kinda pale and kinda......sad. I get out of my car and walk around to the back of my house and am not prepared for what I see. Trees, trees, trees......All down. I counted 7 but there may be more. And, at the center of all this devastation is "The Mighty Oak".

The Mighty Oak, who just an hour or so earlier had stood at the side of my back yard tall, and beautiful and regal now lay across my yard on top of others. It had fallen and crushed everything in it's path just like Lane said. Thank God nothing hit my house but some leaves and a few small branches and nothing hit my dog's residence. And thank God Adalai and I had left. Thank you God for being in control here and protecting us.

I can't imagine the mess and destruction under these fallen trees. My yard, that I love and work so hard in. My flowers that I care for and love and nourish. My tree with the knot hole that I planted flowers in and enjoyed seeing everyday. My frog planter. My mushroom. My azaleas Mr. Scoggins (who died just yesterday) chose just for my garden near the creek. My laurels that bloomed so beautifully this year. My ajuga my mom helped me plant. My sweet williams that were just that, sweet. My bird bath that Adalai and I enjoyed filling. My tacky pink flamingo planter that I got in Beaufort. The bird feeders Lane kept full for all the finches and cardinals and doves. The hummingbird vine and inpatients. What is to become of all this??? Who knows....Who cares.... It can all be replaced.

Kenny Bumgardner and his crew are coming tomorrow to begin the job of cleaning up. They are going to try to at least get everything on this side of the creek so the grass doesn't die.

I guess my greatest observation here is that we are all safe. My house is safe and my pets are safe. But The Mighty Oak is no more..RIP, our friend........

friends

Biscuits, Beef and Berries

Several months ago I wrote about growing up in the country. Today's experiences had me relive those days.

My mom invited me to breakfast this morning. Catherine was to come to my house early so I could help her clean up her nasty, filthy, stincky truck, so we decided to go to breakfast first then come home and clean the truck. She arrived at my house at 6:30 (we were not due at mom's until 8:00) by using the hidden key and jumping in the middle of my bed. She could have been shot. Note to Catherine...'I do not do 6:30a.m. in the summer time.'

Biscuits....My mom makes the best biscuits in the whole wide world. I have always said that God put her on earth to make biscuits. Oh and the gravy. YUMMO!!!!!And then there are the fresh eggs. You cannot beat eggs fresh from the chicken. There is just something so different about them. I really feel sorry for people who don't get to experience a breakfast like this on occasion. Thank you God for the little things I take for granted.

My nephew, Noah, joined us for breakfast. He had been invited for another reason. Yesterday's terrible thunder storm had caused a death on the farm. One of dad's cows was struck by lightning. We actually think the lightning hit the fence and somehow hit the cow. Now, if you have never seen a cow that has been struck by lightning, you are missing out. For some reason, the carcass will immediately swell and become extremely stiff and his eyes will be wide opened. (Catherine had the privilege of closing them.) Said cow was down near the creek which left no way to get him closer to the barn, so dad, Catherine and Noah headed to the creek, shovels and picks in hand, to dig a grave and bury the poor cow. It took them 3 hours. The ground at mom and dad's is solid rock so I am sure the digging was not easy. Oh, mom and I opted to stay at the house and offer moral support from afar. We are not much into dead animals and maggots. Dad, being almost 81, took his little portable stool for resting. Now don't get me wrong, my dad can hang with the best of 'em. He can out do me at anything. Just ask him....Anyway, if it had not been for Catherine and Noah, I am sure mom and I would have been right there with the digging. A great BIG thank you to Catherine and Noah. I mean really BIG, even bigger than that. As BIG as BIG can get.

While they were completing their little deed, mom and I picked blackberries, picked green tomatoes and peppers (for today's chow-chow project), and then we washed Catherine's truck.
We were just finishing up the truck when our little soldiers came out of the woods. Catherine first with a huge smile and dirt from ear to ear. She was scratching her bug bitten legs and collapsed on the ground. Next came Noah, expressionless as he headed straight to the house. We soon discovered that while hoisting the cow into the grave, Noah had somehow managed to get a few maggots on his leg. This kinda grossed him out and he headed straight to the shower. His new name?????Maggot Boy. Love that kid. Last came my dad. He has a chair tied to the picnic table and that is where he landed. He was soaking wet. My dad wears a white undershirt and a longsleeved button up shirt 365 days a year. Always has...Always will. Oh, the chair tied to the table thing? He has lost more than one chair to wind so he solved that problem.

One of Catherine's friends commented on facebook that this was one of the most Hillbilly things he had ever heard of. Maybe...Maybe it is "hillbilly" to bury a cow. But what else is there to do? There is a book we read each year in my class titled "Weasel". One of the quotes from the book I always remember is " the difference between civilized men and savages is that civilized men bury there dead". My dad is a very civilized man. He has always taken care of his animals. Even in death. So, if being in the country burying a cow, picking wild blackberries, eating the best biscuits in the world makes you a Hillbilly, then just call me Ellie Mae.

Lactase, Sand, and Grace

Well, we've been at the beach. Isn't God amazing??? His beauty, in all His creations, never ceases to amaze me. Just think, he created every tiny granule of sand spread across the shore. Amazing....


My week of "summer vacation" didn't start off very well. All I care to say is S.I.C.K. I mean deathly ill. Knocking at death's door, sick. I mean I even went to the emergency room. I only stayed 3.5 minutes, but I did go. When I got there, I decided that I could not sit there another minute so we came home with a promise to my family, that I would go to the doctor the following morning if I was not miraculously cured. I wasn't, but I did feel well enough for our trip. My dear, precious pharmacist suggested I take an OTC items to alleviate my discomfort and, if I was not likely to eat yogurt (and let me assure you I WAS NOT) , Lactase. I have now decided that Lactase is a miracle cure for any stomach issue. Try it the next time your tummy is not acting appropriately.


I LIKE the beach. I did not say LOVE. I like the sand, the shells, the wind, the waves, the birds the trees, the noise. But I do not love any of these things for too long. I like to sit on the beach late in the evening when the crowd thins. I like to be able to stare at the ocean and watch the waves roll in and out. I like to watch the shells come on shore and toss and turn like they're trying to decide if they want to stay or not. I like to watch people with their dogs. I sat there one such evening and just marveled at the beauty and the mystery of the ocean. I'm sure anyone who has been to the beach has done the same thing but it never loses it's ability to humble me. It is so big and it reminds me that I am so very small. God must be very proud of his creation. I was thinking about this and I began to think that He must be very proud of all His creations. Even those not as big as the ocean. The tiny grain of sand, the beautiful birds diving for their dinner, the shells in their many sizes and forms, the weird jellyfish thing that washed on shore in front of me, the grass waving to me from the shore, the weed from the sea that wrapped around my toe and scared me to death. Then I looked on the beach near my chair and noticed my family that had joined my solitude. They, too, must give God joy. My precious granddaughter who was making a road in the sand with her hands, my baby boy who couldn't seem to eat enough sand, my daughters in all their beauty, my son-in-law who loves his family, my husband and his playful spirit (who happens to turn 56 today). God must be proud of these creations.

On my way down to the beach this particular afternoon, I grabbed a book off the shelf. I had started this same book 2 or 3 times in the past. But this time, it hooked me. I think it was a God thing. Oh, it's not really a best seller or anything but it is a christian fiction novel someone had given me some time ago and I just threw it in the Hornet. It was all I could find at the time. I started reading it again and it was amazing. As a matter of fact, I told Liz to take it but changed my mind and told her I needed to read it again and she could have it later. The main character in the book had a similar experience to the one I mentioned above about God's love in what He created. Ironic...... My fictional friend, just like me, began wondering about God and His creations. He did not make any mistakes. I know that. So, is He proud of tiny little ole me???? If He is proud of all things, He must be, or at least, He wants me to make Him proud. Do I? That was my question. "Do I make God proud?" My answer, "No, not always." I know I have disappointed Him. I know there have been times when I screwed up. But I also know that He is still on my side. I think and believe that when I do screw up, He is ready and willing to forgive me, if I am sincere and ask. Thank you God for this grace.

My prayer there sitting on the beach was that God guide me because I DO want Him to be proud of me.

Thank you God for creating all the beauty of the world for me to enjoy and thank you for creating me....I want you to be as proud of me as you are of that beautiful vast sea.

I have been violated!!!!!

Technology is a wonderful thing. I mean that. It really is. But, sometimes we get "had". And I got had.

Lane and I had a wonderful week-end camping in the mountains. Peace and quiet. I love my Kindle. Our site was right on a beautiful creek and with the windows open in the Hornet, we could hear the soothing sounds all night. We were so far in the mountains that we had no phone service. No big deal. So on Saturday when I wanted to call and check on my parents (which I do daily) I had to use my debit card on their public phone. No problem. But later in the day when I called to check on Catherine (which I also do daily) my debit card was declined. 3 times. Hmmmm. Unusual. So, I just used our credit card to make the call.

Later on, I got out my laptop to just take a look at my bank account online. When I did this, I noticed two charges to my account. One for $75.00 and one for $74.87 at a Chevron service station somewhere in Georgia. No big deal. The bank will fix it on Monday. These things happen all the time...Right?

This morning when I got up at "9:30" (unusual for me but wonderful), I decided to take another look at my bank account. You know, just to be sure. Guess what? There had been 5 other such transactions in Georgia. Fortunately this is an account only I use so I immediately transferred what little money was left in my account to another account.

WHAT THE HECK IS GOING ON????????? I have my cards all in my possession. Now I am extremely worried.

As we head down the hill back to civilization and my phone regains it's service, I noticed I have a voicemail from the bank informing me of strange activity on my account so I call them. They immediately put a block on this account and explain that it looks like someone has managed to create a duplicate card to my account.

I have continued to check my account throughout the day and guess what??? My new "friends" are still at it. They are headed south through Georgia just living it up on my money (well, now nobody's money because they have managed to now get my account well overdrawn since I moved what little money was left in there) .....Scumbags.

So here is what it looks like I will have to do tomorrow: Be at bank at 9:00, file police report, go to school office and have account info changed. Oh, and I am due a deduction for my car payment tonight at midnight. Won't they be happy with me when they see the account has closed. Great!!!!! The "Y" won't get their money. They, too, will be happy with me.

Some of the charges were at Wal-Mart's Murphy gas stations. Wal-Mart has cameras so maybe they can look at videos and get tag numbers and stuff. So Wal-Mart, I'm counting on you to catch these scumbags.

One of my questions is this, If they are going to hack someone's account, why not let it be someone with a lot of money? I am a lowly paid North Carolina public school teacher. I don't make a lot of money. I guess that is kinda ugly. I don't want this to happen to anyone.

Now, will I continue to let my debit card be my lifeline? I don't know. Do I have a choice? I guess not.

What I do know is that I have been violated and I do not like it......

On Turning "50"

Well, I made it. I turned fifty this week. I had a terrible time over the past couple months getting ready for this big occasion. I have done a lot of thinking about the last 50 years. How the heck did I get to be fifty years old?????? I asked my mom this recently and her comment was, "What if you had a daughter turning 50?" Hmmm..I had no response to that.

What have I done for the past 50 years? I remember having babies and being grade mother at West School. I remember making cupcakes and going to dance, scouts, soccer practice, piano lessons, church meetings, Bible School, field trips, etc. But what have I really done? Have I done anything really remarkable? I don't know...Maybe. Then I have asked myself these past couple months, "Will I do anything remarkable in the next 50 years? I hope so. I do have a few ideas. I want to go to Guatemala next year with my Blanket Circle friends. But, I have one major issue that God will have to handle: my fear of flying. I have flown before but the thoughts of getting on an airplane terrifies me. So, I figure if God wants me to go to Guatemala, he we alleviate this fear. We'll see what happens. I have always wanted to go on a mission trip. In my early teens I envisioned myself as a missionary in some third world country nursing, or teaching or something. Maybe it's not to late to fulfill that dream.

Erik Erikson, a renowned psychologist as you know, says that at this stage of life called "Middle Adulthood" work is most crucial. Hmmm. interesting. He also says that middle-age is when we tend to be occupied with creative and meaningful work (mission trip?)and with issues surrounding our family (agree). He also said that middle adulthood is when we can expect to "be in charge," the role we've longer envied. (Yep, I want to be in control.)



While thinking about the 50th anniversary of my birth, I made a mental list of things that happen when you turn 50 and I will share some of them: (I don't know if Erickson would agree, but DON'T CARE....)


1.) Your vision starts to go.


2.) Your hips hurt.


3.) 9:00p.m. is to late to get a phone call.


4.) 9:00p.m. is late enough to be up at night.


5.) You get up earlier.


5.) You get a stupid AARP card in the mail.


6.) Your grand children wear you out in about 30 minutes.

7.) You wear sunscreen.


8.) Your hair gets thinner and duller (But I have a daughter to take care of this.)


9.) The fat, ugly lady behind the counter at Belk's asks you if you get the Senior Citizen's discount. By gosh, the next time she asks me that I am going to say YES......


10.) You take blood pressure medicine.


11.) Strange spots start growing on your body...hmmmm

12.) Waitresses call you "sweetie". (I hate that.)

13.) You go to Cracker Barrel and like it. Hmmmm.

Now, the above mentioned are not necessarily all that negative but I have been thinking of a few positive things that happen when you get 50:

1.) Your kids are grown and out of the house..hopefully.
2.) You have grandchildren, if you're lucky...
3.) You don't have to cook supper if you don't want to.
4.) You get to go camping with just your spouse. Well, and your dog.
5.) You get to order off the old people menu at a lot of restaurants and it's cheaper.
6.) You get to listen to what you like on the radio in the car.
7.) The phone doesn't ring after 9:00p.m. (see above)
8.) Nobody eats your flavor of ice cream. (My favorite is cherry vanilla and Lane hates it.)
9.) You get to order seasons tickets to the theatre no matter how much they cost because you know you won't miss the play because of somethings the kids have to do.
10.) You do things because you want to and not to impress others.
11.) You can ride all the way to Lancaster, S.C. to eat breakfast on Saturday morning if you want to.
12.) You can take a shower and put on your jammies at 6:00p.m. if you so desire..(tonight I desired.)
13.) You can eat dessert first if you want to because you are not trying to impress your kids with good eating habits. Heck, you can have a milk shake from Tony's and call it supper.
13.) You can clean your house and it pretty much stays that way.(Until the babes come on Friday.)
14.) You can go to Waffle House at 9:30p.m. (If you are still up. See above.)
15.) Your kids give you a surprise party..( I was totally surprised. Party had never come into my mind when thinking about turning 50. It was wonderful and beautiful. And the people there to celebrate with me are so very dear to me. Erickson says our friends are important and usually center around family and comunity activities, like church. People who love you for who you are and no other reason. It was great!!!!)

Even though 50 is not necessarily a pretty number like, say 30 0r 40, it is a good number and a good time of life. A little easier, a little more peaceful, a little slower, and a little less demanding.

So, turning 50 ain't too bad....:)

56 Squares

Last week I made the statement that I wanted to do something amazing. Not just normal everyday something, but something truly amazing. Something I don't always do, something that just blows you away. Well, I didn't. Or did I????

I look around me at all God has blessed me with; my wonderful husband, my children, my babes, my parents, my job, my friends, my church, my home, my yard and just any number of things. And I think, how amazing.

In the last two weeks I have done two things that I think are pretty amazing. First, I was asked to give my personal testimony at church. In front of the whooooooole congregation. Scary but inspiring to me. I think God gave me the words to share to inspire myself. I worked on the testimony for 4 days. Many hours. I wanted to say the right thing. I wanted to say something that might mean something to someone else. I even googled "How to give a testimony". I was serious about it. I prayed and prayed to God for words and peace and, of course, He came through. I am still remembering some of the things I said and am still inspired to grow closer to God and work to fulfill His plans for me...Amazing....

The second pretty amazing thing I did was go to a Blanket Circle. An old friend of mine invited me to her church to help make blankets to send with her church group going on a mission trip this summer to Guatemala. Remember that night of the big rain and thunder storm with the tornado threats? Well, I was in the peaceful environment of blanket making. There were ladies at one big table making quilts, others were making fleece blankets with the knotted edges and I was with the group crocheting granny squares. Absolutely amazing. And the ladies I met were undescribable. I have been crocheting since I was 5, so I can pretty much do it with my eyes closed so talking and crocheting at the same time was no problem. (Talking is never a problem for me.) We stopped every few minutes and someone would lead us in prayer for the work we were doing. It brought tears to my eyes. Just imagine, some non-Christian in
Guatemala would be touching the same blanket I was touching. My prayers and the prayers of others are in that blanket for them.!!! Amazing...

It takes 56 granny squares to make an appropriate size blanket. I am determined to make 56 squares before next month. I am making them into 56 flowers and when put together, it will look like a flower gardern (I hope). I'm calling it "God's Flower Garden". I was told the people of Guatemala like bright colors. Perfect. They will get bright, filled with love and prayer.....Amazing....

God, You are Amazing......

Growing Up Dixon

No, I was not born a Dixon. I was born a Caveny and we Cavenys LIVED in Dixon. Dixon Community, that is. A rather large community at that, down in the country.

We buried my 84 year old aunt Evelyn Caveny Graham today and one of the pastors is a fellow Dixoner. My age. We grew up together, played together, went to Bible School and 4-H together. We were Dixoners. We had similar backgrounds and similar ideas and similar hopes and dreams. There were a lot of us Dixoners. Maybe close to 50 of us around my age.

The pastor reminded me of many things I hadn't thought about in a very long time and it was as if I stepped back in time 40 years or so. Here are a few things I remember about Growing up Dixon:

1) Bible School at Dixon Presbyterian Church - you got 2 cookies and one cup grape kool-aid.
2) Near Thanksgiving time, we loaded turkeys onto a truck at Jack Hughes' turkey farm. (And he paid us.)
3) On Saturday mornings in the cool of the autumn, all the Dixoners gathered to slaughter cows or pigs. We kids got to cook chunks of meat on a stick over an open fire.
4) On Sundays we went to church. Period. Then we sat in the font yard and made ice cream and ate that with Aunt Evelyn's pound cake. (The best in Dixon.)
5) Gene Hughes' store had vanilla flavored cookies with seams in them that he put in a tiny paper bag for you.
6) You could ride you bike 3/4 of mile up to Huffman's store for a Chocolate mule. Nobody kidnapped you.
7) At 4-H we learned how to cook and sew. Even the boys.
8) Every night we sat in front of the t.v. and listened to Walter Cronkite tell us how many people had been killed in Vietnam that day.
9) In the summer, we picked apples off Grandpa John's tree and rolled the slices in sugar. We were told not to because we would get worms but we did anyway.
10) We went down to King's Creek swimming in our clothes.
11) When somebody's cow got out, everybody got excited and helped round it up.
12) When the hay was bailed, all us kids got to load it on the trailer. That night, we got to have a hayride through the dirt roads.
13) In the fall, there was always a Cooter Stew. Everybody brought their own bowl...
14) My aunt Geneva (pronounced Genever) let me thread needles for her quilting. She wouldn't let make any stitches though...She also kept "True Romance" books hidden under her sofa cushion.
15) Same aunt always made macaroni and gizzards...Yuck...
16) My uncle Bob kept a bottle of something out in his shed. Never could understand why he made so many trips out there in the evenings after work...He lived right next door.
15) We were only allowed to spend the night with cousins.
16) If you got in trouble, you had to go get your own hickory switch. ouch!!!!! I had to get quite a few in my day.
17) Uncle Harrill had me believing an old troll lived under the bridge near his house. I think maybe it still does....

These are just a few of the things that made life in Dixon so sweet.

My cousin and I were talking about this today. We looked around and asked, "How did these people get so old?" How did I get to be almost 50? How did life get so different? It was so very simple then. It was so safe and secure. We knew everybody in that 5 mile or so radius. Today I don't even know the people at the end of my street. Sad. And it is real sad that my kids will never know what I had......... Growing Up Dixon....