The Adventures of Daniel "Lane" Boone and His Innocent Companion

I walk every day.  Usually 4 or so miles.  I'm addicted.  My day is not complete without walking.  Recently, my loving and adoring spouse has joined me on occassion.  We have walked the gateway, we have a trial near our house we walk, and yesterday we walked the trail from Lake Crawford to the National Park.  Fun.  We have a good time and we laugh a lot and just enjoy each other's company.  I know, awwwwwww.  Well, my husband decided he was going to take our lab and little Tobi and go to the woods over behind the old Sadie mill.  I decided not to join him so I texted my loyal walking companion to see if she wanted to walk.  Hubby left and I didn't hear from her immediately so, figuring she was too busy for me, I called hubby and told him to wait on me behind the mill and I would join him.  I thought this was the wifely thing to do since I am leaving for the beach for 4 days in the a.m. without him.  Quality time.  hmmmm.

Hubby told me to put on jeans because the path (and I use the word loosely)  was a little overgrown.  Now, happily, I have lost 43 pounds and have no jeans.  Things to do:  BUY JEANS.  I figured a pair of shorts and my old walking shoes would be fine.  It was hot outside.  So I changed clothes and headed on over.  When I got there, I set my GPS watch, grabbed my bottle of water and stuffed my keys into my pocket.  We started by walking around the soybean field on a nice little tractor road.  This was good.  I was thrilled with the path.  Then about 2/10s of a mile (according to watch) we took a turn into the woods.  This is where I really should have turned around and left.  But, being the trooper I am, I followed my leader

We have walked here a thousand times over the years.  The girls used to come with us when they were home.  There were always some great 4-wheeler paths through here.  (Note to self, kids don't ride 4-wheelers that much anymore, they are on the internet.)  At this turn into the words there is a nice bridge across the creek.  Well, there used to be a nice bridge.  Now there is just an old rotten log or telephone pole or something.  Hubby went across first, as I beat my way through the brush, then Toby,  There is the next place I should have turned and left.  With a little help and holding my breath, I made it across the pole.  Here we took a left and about 20 yards later (next point where I should have turned and left) we encounter mounds of poison ivy and briers.  Loving and adoring husband assures me the path gets clearer up ahead.  Boy was he wrong.  It got worse and worse and worse.  This whole time he is about 10 feet OR MORE ahead of me and frequently turns to smile and ask if I am still there.  The only time he doesn't smile is when I stop, look down at my legs as the blood gushes from them and the mosquitoes swarm and burst into tears and scream "TAKE ME HOME".  If I had taken my cell phone, I would have called my daddy to come to my rescue. 

Anyway, I get settled down and Lane assures me there is a clearing ahead and when we reach it, I tell him to take me to the nearest road.  There was one point where the path was a pine tree.  I had to walk about 30 feet on a pine tree.  At the end or beginning or root or whatever of this tree was a huge hole filled with muddy water and probably all sorts of creatures and snakes.  I had to walk around this death whole on a ledge that was about 3 inches wide.  (Too late to turn around and leave now.)

I honestly believe we walked around in circles trying to find Canterbury Road.  My husband, being a typical man, was absolutely sure he knew exactly where we were.  At one point he asked me to check my watch and see how far we had walked.  It had lost it's signal and was flashing at me.  I honestly think it was smirking at me saying, "ha ha, your lost in the words, bleeding, being attacked by mosquitoes and briers, I bet you stay on pavement from now on." 

Cars.  I could hear cars and knew we had to be close to the road.   We finally came to a service road of some sort that lead to Canterbury Road.  We had one problem at this point.  The dogs.  Since we were in the woods, he had taken off their collars and left their leashes in the car.  My husband, and this is the ONLY good thing I have to say about him right now, took kudzu vines and made the neatest collars and leashes for the dogs.  They were amazing.

So, with the dogs properly leashed we headed out of the woods toward Canterbury Road only to be stopped in our tracks by the barking of a very loud very big dog.,  Well, I never actually saw the dog but I know it was big.  I grabbed a big stick and headed on out to the most wonderful sight in the world.  Canterbury Road.

Now, the way people were staring at us as they drove by, you would think they had never seen two people leading to dogs on kudzu leashes, a women with smeared mascara from crying in the woods, and blood gushing down her legs, and a crazy man laughing at her.  If I had seen these two people, I would have stopped to help them.  Well, no  I wouldn't have either.  I would have called the police.

We walked up Canterbury toward King Street.  Lane said we would go behind Patriot Jacks and be back in the soybean filed.  Of course the church there was packed with people and we just very quietly walked through their parking lot to the back of the church and headed back into the words.  More briers, poison ivy and tears,  At the beginning of this adventure, I was careful to respect the soybeans but by this time I could not have cared less about the plants and headed straight through the middle of the field.  I felt like Dorothy running through the poppies headed to Oz.  When we finally reached our cars, Lane's only words to me were, "I'll see you at home".   My words to him?  Well, let's just say they weren't very nice.

Mother of the Bride

It's official....I Am The Mother of The Bride.  Along with this "title" comes major responsibilities.  Following, in no special order, are a few things that come to mind:  sleepless nights, panic attacks, decisions about colors, flowers, music, photography, food, dishes, guests, dresses, male attire, centerpieces, other decorations, invitations, response cards, Wilek carrying a ring down the aisle, what to have catered and what to make ourselves, weather, wild animals, spiders, lizards, bears, breakfast the day of the wedding, lunch the day of the wedding, breakfast the morning after the wedding, will there be leftovers from the wedding? will there be enough food at the wedding? how many people will actually be there, how many people will be spending the night(there are 35 cottages at this place) will the lodge hold everybody, gifts for my "special helpers".....oh, the list goes on and on.

I know, people do this all the time and everything works out but before it can work out, it has to get done.

Catherine, Elizabeth and I have done great thing in the last 7 days.  The most important thing (at this point) was the venue. That was secured on Monday with great surprises.  (In the effort of not spoiling the surprises of the wedding, I am sworn to secrecy about venue and the wedding week-end events).  I will say that it is going to be amazing. And yes, we have changed it from "Wedding Day" to "Wedding Week-End".  The venue is ours for the week-end so we have planned to take full advantage of that.

I have had to rechanel my thoughts on wedding planning to modern day themes.  I had to throw my "Amy Vanderbilt Complete Book of Wedding Etiquette" book out the window.  I am now in the phase of acceptance and really in high gear with this modern wedding theme of outdoors, cowboy boots, and smores bar.  Oh, I will, somehow, manage to sneak a little southern flare into this.  Just you wait......