The Mysteries of Life

Twenty-three years ago today, my precious little boy was taken from my arms. Do we ever get over these things? Do we ever understand these things? Do we ever accept these things? I don't know. Maybe we just go on about life with these things left to haunt us.

I don't know if "haunt" is the right thing to say. Maybe just remember is the right thing to say. But if you have ever lost a child, you know exactly what I mean. With the recent celebration of Veteran's Day, I was reminded and shared with my students, the night we were awakened to be told my cousin had been killed in Vietnam. I also remember when another cousin was mysteriously killed while hanging out with friends one afternoon at some quarry. I also remember when friends from church lost their son to a cruel disease and then I remember the day our pastor and his wife lost their precious son to complications from DMD. Have any of these people accepted this?

At the beginning of school while trying to get to know my kids, I was standing at my door as the students entered and a boy walked up to me and I noticed a scar on his chest. I asked him about it and he said that he had had three surgeries on his heart and would undergo another one in a couple years. I asked him what was wrong with his heart and he said that when he was born the left ventricle of his heart was not developed. Hyproplastic Left Heart Syndrome. I was stunned. This is the exact defect my precious son had. Isn't it amazing that some 14 years can change things. This child in my class is being cared for and will live an almost normal life. He can't play contact sports but we did manage to get him the position of manager for the wrestling team. He lives with his grandmother and she and I have spoken on several occasions. My friend at school knows this family and told her about my son having the same defect. So this child and I have a special bond. I think God put him with me for a reason.

My hubby's oldest sister lives in Columbia and is not doing well these days. She has various ailments and issues. We decided on Wednesday to go down for the day and visit. She called on Thursday and said she just did not feel well enough for our visit. I called back on Friday and she felt some better and I convinced her to let us come on. This morning I got up with a fever of 100.4 and, well, other issues. So hubby called her and told her we would have to postpone our visit. If I had a bug, she didn't need to get it. I have stayed on the sofa all day but feel fine right now. Since things had been so up in the air bout our trip to Columbia, I can't help but think that this was God's way of keeping us from traveling today. Thank you God for making me listen.

I think this is just another example of God guiding our lives. We just need to listen and pay attention to what goes on around us. Be it a child placed in our care at school, or a reason to stay put. God is in control so let him guide.

"I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you and watch over you." Psalm 32:8

If you have kids, go hug them.....


William Alan Logan 10-12-87 to 11-20-87